Ethyl Says: Friendships

What is it that makes us draw close to another human, that moves us to seek to know them, to understand them, and finally to love them.
I love the movie 'Driving Miss Daisy'.  Must have watched it a dozen times, in whole or in part, and I keep asking myself why does this movie appeal to me.  It's not the story line, although it is a good story line.  The story line is a familiar one.  Retired teacher can no longer drive herself so her son hires a chauffeur.  She protest, as older people often do when the feel their independence is threatened, but finally accepts the situation and in the end, grows to enjoy it.
The thing I find so intriguing about this movie is the friendship that develops between the old woman and her servant, who in every way possible seem to be total opposites.  He's a man, she's a woman.  He is black, she is white. He's a Christian, she's a Jew. He is poor, she is rich.  He is illiterate, she's a well educated school teacher.  He's from one social class, she is from another.  She is the master, he's the servant.  So just what is it that binds these two together, so that is in the end, when she is so all alone and totally vulnerable, she would reach out and take his hand and say, 'Hoke, you're my best friend' to which he replies, 'Yes um'.
I'm thought about this a lot, and what I think is that both of them were totally at ease with who they were.  There was no pretence of trying to be something they were not.  He knew he was the employee and he always kept to his place.  And yet, he was totally  comfortable with that.  He never tried to step out of his role in life and be something he wasn't.  In the scene after Idelle dies and they are in the kitchen together preparing lunch, they are totally at ease with each other, yet when it came to sitting down and eating, he serves her in the dining room and he eats his meal in the kitchen.  And yet, he never appears to resent that arrangement.  He accepts it just as it is, and he never holds his position in life against her.  On the other hand, she was never able to intimidate him into being less than the man he really was.  When he heard nature call, he went, regardless of her time schedule or how she felt about it.  He would never stoop to being uncomfortable in order to pacify her.
She, on the other hand, was much the same.  She would not stoop to placate others just so she could have their approval, or do business with them, like her son did.  If she didn't want to do business or socialize with somebody, she didn't.  She was who she was, and I think she totally understood who she was.  She was born on the poor side of town, and she still considered that was who she was.  As she said, 'nobody could ever accuse her of  'putting on airs'. 
So why do close, binding, lasting, friendships sometimes develop between the most unlikely people.  I think it has to do with being comfortable with who we are.  Of not trying to be something we're not.  Of just accepting things in life for what they are.  No pretence, no outward show, 'no putting on airs', as Miss Daisy would say.  If we can be totally comfortable with ourselves, others find it much easier to be themselves around us.  Nothing to hide, nothing to conceal.  Just trust and talk and grow to depend on, and, in the end, grow to love.